Two Tables to One: Merging Home Dilemma
While moving in with my husband, I kept thinking about that famous scene from When Harry Met Sally. You know the one, where Jess and Marie are moving in together? Marie says, “Everybody thinks they have good taste and a sense of humor but they couldn’t possibly all have good taste,” as Jess keeps trying to push that wagon wheel table?! ???????
Combining households typically results in chaos and duplicates of everything. This is especially true if two established households become merged into one. What can you to do to ensure an smooth and Amazing transition?
Step One: The Zen
Prepare yourself mentally that you will need to get rid of items. You will not need two dishwashers, washing machines, or possibly even coffee tables.
Step Two: Identify the Joined Space Size
What you need to keep and what you need to give away will depend on the amount of space you have to work with. This is when storage comes in handy. If Mr. New Hubby loves his set of cookware from his grandmas 1960’s kitchen, but you do not have space for it in the new place, it may be time to compromise it to the storage unit. (Yes, I speak from personal experience on that one).
Step Three: Make Lists and Plan for The Duplicates
Will you have a garage sale? Use the classifieds? Or perhaps just donate it? Make a list of everything you have that is duplicate, decide which of the two (or three) you plan to keep and then come up with a game plan. Who knows? You may even be able to make a little extra cash from the purge! If you both love your couches, this is another possibility for storage. Perhaps you will get a bigger place in the future? Save your lazy Sunday’s BFF for your much bigger, future home.
Step Four: Come together to decorate
My husband’s and my home did not become ours until we removed our decorations from our separate homes and started planning together. While I loved my “Fat Pastry Chef” painting, it didn’t go with OUR home.
Step Five: Keep Your Identities
It can be hard to jump in head first into a combined home. Remember to have respect for items that you think are hideous (seriously, 1960’s cookware – the pots have orange, yellow, and brown mushrooms decorations) and to keep an open mind about what he or she wants to keep. You may not know the full story behind the item. If there’s something that is special to you, make sure to keep it available in your new home. We do have to sacrifice when we’re newly married, moving in together, or adding family into a home, but that doesn’t mean we have to lose ourselves completely in it.
Step Six: Give Space
Your alone time has just been cut into a fraction. Have respect for yourself and those with whom you share your home. This can be a chaotic and stressful time, but just remember the most important part: you are now living a life filled with love, laughter, and many new adventures!
Have you ever merged households?
What was your saving grace? Comment below!